What is the purpose?
Food, Sex, Books is primarily a mental health blog. It was birthed out of the love for, if not the complicated relationship with, my three favorite things: eating, sexuality, and reading. The goal of Food, Sex, Books is to provide readers with a deeper understanding of the complexities of sexuality and how it relates to mental health.
I love food for the way it makes me feel. It keeps me alive, nourishes my body, and gives me the energy I need to function. Eating brings to mind the cultures and histories that food connects me with. Food ties people together.
Eating is connected to the way I feel about my body; the way I feel about myself. I’ve gone on diets to change the way my body looks so I can feel skinnier and sexier. I would think about how little I ate expecting it to make me happier. There were times when I would look at myself during sex and immediately stop enjoying the moment because my body didn’t look the way I wanted it to. Our relationships with food are complex. Many people are so disconnected from their bodies that they eat when they are anxious, depressed, stressed, and looking for an escape. I could probably write a book about my erratic emotional connection to food. I am interested in the ways food impacts mental health and sexuality, in hopes that you might relate, or gain something from sharing.
I love sex. And not just the act of it. To love sex does not mean you must have sex every night, nor does it mean you have to be the best at it. The love I have for sexuality comes from a desire and fire to be educated about, and connected to, my body. I never got the sex talk from my family, and the education system I grew up in wasn’t helpful. Friends as uneducated as I was, media, and the Internet shaped the erroneous ideas I had about sexuality. I recognized the need to empower myself, and take sex education into my own hands. Sex can be beautiful, fun, powerful, spiritual, connecting, loving, rhythmic, euphoric, passionate, kinky. But it’s also traumatizing, powerless, isolating, miserable, loveless, vulnerable, dangerous, awkward, boring. My interest doesn’t lie solely in the happy aspects of sex. To only focus on that small portion neglects the reality of many peoples’ experiences. As a mental health counselor, I usually hear about the more negative emotional, mental, and physical aspects of sexuality. Being sex positive means holding space and compassion for the entire spectrum.
My preference of an educational tool has always been reading. Whether fiction or non-fiction, you can learn a lot from a good book. You can go at your own pace, read something you connect strongly with over and over again while getting something new from it each time.